


I bleed when I fall down (I'm only human)

by watchthesunrise



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Spoilers for The Death Cure, friendships, i don't know how to tag, kinda angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 21:46:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3463178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchthesunrise/pseuds/watchthesunrise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been two years since Newt had first been confined to the place known as the Glade. For two years he had been running through the giant, ever changing maze. For two years, they had been searching, and still had yet to find a way out.</p><p>But finally, Newt knew the answer.</p><p>Finally, he knew a way out. An escape.</p><p>//aka Newt's suicide attempt</p>
            </blockquote>





	I bleed when I fall down (I'm only human)

Hope is a valuable thing. Once gone, everything begins to fall apart.

Newt knew this – really, he did. Yet it was hard to latch on to something that was already long gone.

_Two years._

It had been two years since Newt had first been confined to the place known as the Glade. For two years he had been running through the giant, ever changing maze. For two years, they had been searching, and still had yet to find a way out.

But finally, Newt knew the answer.

Finally, he knew a way out. An _escape._

He hated to think he was giving up, but knew there wasn't any other way. So the next morning, he ran into the maze with a plan. A plan to get out of the place he was trapped in once and for all.

He ran for a while, but stopped when he found a wall with ivy he deemed most suitable for climbing. He took hold of it, and pulled himself up.

Higher and higher he went, until he was halfway up the giant walls of the maze. Looking down, he suddenly had a moment of doubt. Maybe he shouldn't do this, maybe he should continue searching. Maybe he was still needed…

 _No._ Many people had died in the Glade, and everything still moved along as smoothly as possible. What made _him_ so special? Besides, by doing this he could prove to the creators he was not just a piece in their games. Prove to them he wasn't theirs to control, and that he would die on his own terms. He wouldn't allow them to trap him like this.

Taking a deep breath, he jumped.

His leg hit the ground first, his back soon following after. His head struck the ground last, the impact causing everything around him to fade into darkness.

**~000~**

"Why isn't he back yet?"

"How am I supposed to know? Quit your worrying, shank's probably fine." Minho responded, although he had to admit he was becoming quite concerned.

Alby shot Minho a glare. "He should be back by now." He muttered, gazing out into the maze.

"Stop being such a drama queen, there's still plenty of time-"

"No, he's right. Newt should be back by now." Nick spoke up.

Minho sighed. He wanted to believe Newt would be fine, and that he would return safely. It was better than panicking. Although, he had to admit that Nick and Alby were right. All the runners had returned, and the walls would be closing soon enough. His friend should be back by now.

"We should organize a search party." Minho suggested.

"We can't risk losing anyone else." Nick said with a shake of his head.

"We can all meet up, and only send runners. That way, they'll know to get out before the doors close." Alby negotiated.

Nick sighed, running his hand through his hand through his hair as he did so. "I suppose we could do that, but _only_ you two and a few other runners. Minho, go get Mike, James and Abe."

With a nod of agreement, Minho turned and ran.

**~000~**

When he awoke, the first thing Newt felt was pain.

His head was pounding, and it hurt to breathe. But the thing most noticeable was the pain in his leg.

Letting out a cry of pain, Newt gripped his leg, willing it to stop hurting. He knew moving it was out of the question.

The next thing that hit him was the immense feeling of failure. For his attempt to escape had been futile. _He was still trapped._ Closing his eyes, he wished for everything to just vanish. For the maze, the grievers – for _everything_ to simply disappear.

Suddenly, a shout cut off his train of thought. It sounded as if someone was calling his name. Listening carefully, he realized the voice sounded familiar.

Opening his eyes, he saw a silhouette coming closer and closer. As the figure approached, Newt realized it was Alby. Why was Alby in the maze?

Alby swore under his breath as he saw Newt's current state. His head and arms were both bleeding, but his leg was without a doubt the worst. Stretched out in front of the boy, it was coated in blood and his ankle was twisted at an odd angle. Lifting Newt up, Alby put the younger boy's arm around his shoulders in a way to insure he would be supporting Newt's weight.

"We have to get out of here before the doors close." Alby said, starting to walk. Newt's eyes widened as he realized that that Alby was taking him back to the Glade.

"No!" Newt cried out, earning a surprised look from his friend. "Just leave me here! You'll never make it dragging me along." It was true, that if Alby had to support his injured friend he would most likely not make it back to the Glade before the door closed.

However, there was another reason Newt didn't want Alby to attempt to get him out of the maze. Although he did not wish to die at the hands of the grievers, he also did not want to be trapped any longer.

Unfortunately for Newt, the older boy wouldn't take no for an answer. He continued to make his way toward the doors, dragging Newt along with him. While moving, the pain became even more intense.

Eventually, the searing pain became too much for Newt to bear, and for the second time that day he blacked out.

**~000~**

Minho swore under his breath as he looked at his watch, knowing the doors to the maze would soon close. He had been fortunate enough to make it out on time, and was anxiously waiting for the other boys to exit the maze as well.

Nick was also growing impatient. His gaze continuously shifted from the maze to his watch, and he muttered something under his breath that Minho couldn't quite comprehend.

Suddenly, Minho saw two figures in the distance. Squinting his eyes, he realized they were Alby and Newt.

Minho ran toward the boys, into the maze. As he approached them, he noticed the condition Newt was in.

"Shuck." He muttered, slinging Newt's other arm over his shoulder in order to help Alby support the unconscious boy's weight.

"What happened?" Minho questioned as they made their way back to the Glade as quickly as possible.

"No clue, I found him like this." Alby responded.

"Where are the other boys?" Minho inquired, his breathing becoming faster than normal.

"You mean they haven't got out yet?" Alby asked, alarmed. Minho only shook his head in response, not wanting to waste anymore of his breath.

Both boys sighed in relief as they set foot into the Glade. Immediately, they both began crying for help.

The Gladers expressions were all of shock when they saw Newt. Jeff and Clint were the first to snap out of their states of surprise, and they rushed forward to help the boy.

"What happened? Where are the others?" Nick questioned, attempting to keep calm.

"We don't know." Alby responded, letting the med jacks take hold of Newt.

Nick shook his head, saying, "I knew we shouldn't have sent a search party."

The Gladers glanced sadly at each other as the doors began to seal shut.

**~000~**

Newt groaned as he slowly came back to consciousness, blinking furiously as his eyes adjusted to the light.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." A voice said. It took Newt a moment to place it, but he soon realized it was Minho.

Newt attempted to sit up, but the pain in his head forced him to lie back down. His hand went to his head, and he carefully took in his surroundings. He was clearly in the homestead, Minho and Alby peering down at him. Slowly, his memory of what had occurred returned to him.

"How long have I been out?"

"About a day," Alby responded, "Now spill it, what happened in the maze?"

Newt closed his eyes. He knew the question was inevitable, and that there was no way for him to get out of answering it. Perhaps he could lie…

As he glanced up, he saw Minho had a peculiar expression on his face. His eyes were wide, and he looked as if he had realized something.

"This wasn't a griever attack, was it?" Minho questioned.

Newt sighed, before shaking his head.

Alby had clearly not caught on. His brow was furrowed, and he wore a confused expression.

"Then what was it?" He inquired.

Newt said nothing, and cast his eyes downward.

Minho thought back to Newt's strange behaviour, how hopeless he had seemed. How he had ventured into the maze with a look of resolution.

"No," he breathed, "You didn't. Please tell me you didn't do this to yourself.

Newt's eyes became watery, and before he could decide against it, he nodded.

"You shank! What were you thinking?" Minho practically yelled.

Newt glanced up at his friends. "I was thinking we are trapped, and I don't want to be stuck here anymore."

Finally understanding, Alby exclaimed, "We can't have you running off to _kill yourself_ Newt! We need you! How could you be so stupid?"

"You would have been fine without me." Newt said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Alby and Minho stared at him in disbelief.

"Are you kidding? You're practically the only thing that holds this place together." Minho informed him. Newt only raised an eyebrow in response.

"He's right. You help out whenever you can, and you keep us hopeful. How do you think everyone is going to react to this?" Alby added.

Newt cast his gaze downward. He hadn't realized everyone may react badly to this. When he had made the decision to jump, he thought perhaps his body would be lost, and the Gladers may blame a griever. An overwhelming sense of guilt consumed him, for the last thing Newt wanted was to hurt anyone.

"So don't tell them. Say I tripped while running from a griever. Keep them hopeful, because if they don't stay that way it won't be pretty." He said.

"We will, but you have to promise you won't ever do anything this stupid again. Ever." Minho said firmly.

Newt considered this. Maybe they could find a way out, one that involved surviving. Maybe he could help keep the Gladers hopeful. And maybe he could find his place in the Glade without running through the maze - because he definitely wouldn't be able to run anytime soon, and he didn't want to.

_Maybe._

Newt nodded. "I promise."

**~000~**

All hope was lost. Surviving wasn't an option – not for him, anyway. Madness was inevitable. He didn't want his friends to see him like that, crazed and chaotic. _Murderous._ Nor did he want to survive long enough to live like that.

Because that wasn't living.

Newt wanted to die as himself, not as an insane _monster_ he knew he would soon become.

No, he had to escape before that could happen.

He could have done it himself. But what if, yet again, he failed? And what about his promise?

He gripped onto his slipping sanity, getting out one last desperate plea.

" _Please Tommy, please."_

**Author's Note:**

> I do know that there are no search parties allowed in the Glade. I just thought that perhaps there was a reason Newt was so against search parties, so I decided to make up a reason. He wouldn’t want to send a search party if the last one was sent for him, and got multiple people killed. Also, I’m not quite sure what injuries one would get if they through themselves off a very high wall, so sorry about that. I hope this fic turned out okay.


End file.
